My favorite Thing About: The Mekenzie Edition

I'm starting a new series with my blog, and it's cleverly titled "My Favorite Thing About:" (Not clever? How dare you!)
Todays edition is my favorite thing about MeKenzie Searns. Here's why it's easy- there are lots of things to love. Here's why its hard- how do you pick a favorite amongst so many good qaulities? Alas- I shall persevere! Here goes.

My favorite thing about Kenz is that with Kenz there is no pretense. She has a natural ability to disarm me of all my fronts. This doesn't just happen magically- it happens because over and over again Kenz encouraged, uplifted and stood behind me. And when someone is like that, it's like they're physically taking down the bricks that build up the keep-people-in-the-dark-about-who-I-really-am wall. Her genuine and authentic encouragement makes me comfortable with myself. It's made me want to hang my artwork. Or embrace my stupid jokes. Or do the dance I really want to do in the Starbucks line, because not only will I love doing it, but she'll love laughing at it. There's something about having your presence enjoyed and appreciated that is completely edifying and completely Jesus. And also completely MeKenzie.

It's wonderful I think, when you can look forward to your fourth summer together with the confidence that it's going to be adventurous, funny, productive... conversationally fantastic... ok, it might involve some rollerblading time trials in the Costco parking lot, or the redemption of the Dream Team, or future adventures with the Wildman. But I know I'll spend this summer, like the last three, feeling the physical presence of the love of Jesus. Because I know Kenz will be giving me hugs, or forcing me (against my will) to scratch her back (always), or maybe even slide tackling me during a little too intense game of soccer.

Thanks Kenz. For loving me into loving myself. And for never hesitating to think the best, even when I'm at my worste. You exemplify the Good News at work in my life and I love you very very much.

Alma Mater

I keep wanting to write a post about how I'm leaving Linfield. And about how I'm sad- but also about how I'm accomplishing what I set out to do, so that in itself is a bit fulfilling. But I keep failing... because it's been 3 1/2 years of my life, it's not a blog entry at all, its time and growth and depth and events and people. So I guess I shouldn't be upset at myself for not being able to find an eloquent enough way to say goodbye- maybe it'd be sort of shallow if I could fit the experience onto a website anyway.

Some of the things I've come up against have been really hard and sad and defeating, and some of them have been fun and surprising and empowering. All of it has been worthwhile and I'm by no means the girl I was when I started. I'm sad to go but I'm thankful for the time I've spent here. I've learned so much about God and people and happiness and pain. I've definitely gained some confidence and hopefully some humility. I've learned what I'm good at, and just as importantly, where I still need a lot of improvement.

Some of my friendships I really screwed up. Most of them bounced back stronger, and I'm really really thankful for that.

And I'm going to walk away, and though not literally, I'm going to take people with me. Its like if you fall asleep with your sheets wrinkled under your cheek and you wake up... and you're all indented all over your face. That's what people here have done to me... I've spent so many hours in coffee shops and at the library and on planes and buses and walks with Nicole and Laura and April and Katy and Brise and Chris E. and Brian and Ben and all the boys at the Rock and Mal, with the W.L. leaders and my other track coaches and in the kitchen with my roomies. And I guess I've just really been here awhile and I'm sort of covered in this place and these people like creases all over my face. And the pure and simple truth is, I'm very very sad that it's over.

So in the pretty simple words of Sam Lamott, this really is how it's been:

"Mostly good, some problems."

True or False?

Nothing says I miss you like a picture of a sad kitten.


Don't be afraid to weigh in... if you think there's something better equipped to say "I miss you" than a sad kitten. But I'm fairly confident no one will dare challenge.

The 2 Rings

I have a lovely story. About love and not love and two rings.

There's a pharmaceutical company called Bristol-Meyers and Squibb that's based out of Canada. And my Great great grandfather just happens to be the "Bristol". That's where my brother Brise's name came from. If you've heard of the company you may know that it's incredibly big, and was back in great great grandpa's time too. Great great grandpa and his wife were basking in the wealth. I think you could safely say they had all that money could buy... even a chauffeur. Unfortunately they didn't so much have the things that money can't buy, faithfulness for one. Great great grandpa wasn't so much sticking to his vows. The Christmas Eve after she discovered his unfaithfulness I guess he thought he'd attempt to make up for the mistresses. As their chauffeur drove them to a huge party, he handed my great great grandma a jewelry box. Inside? A lovely sparkling diamond ring (which will shortly become an unsuccessful attempt to compensate for a lack of the integral qualities necessary to make a marriage work... read on). My great great grandma was a saucy minx. She wasn't having it. What she was having was an affair with the chauffeur but we'll get to that. She opened up the jewelry box, nonchalantly rolled down her window, and hucked the ring out into the snow. Merry Christmas.

She had two sons, the older was best friends with the chauffuer, the very one she is about to run off with. The younger was my great grandfather. Before his mom jumped ship he was living the high life. He had a car and an airplane for his 16th birthday... but when his Mom left, he decided to go with her and became instantly penniless. Not long down the road he met my great grandmother, fell in love, and decided to propose. He gave her a ring that's sitting on my Mom's dresser. Inside the ring there is a romantic engraving... "I love you Susan." And I'm sure it really meant a lot... to whomever Susan was. But at some point it was hocked to a pawn shop where my great grandfather bought it for my great grandmother... who's name was most definitely not Susan. But it's all he could afford. And they lived a fairly poor existence (monetarily speaking), she never got a replacement ring (if she's anything like me, I'm sure she didn't want one). We went to visit them up in Canada when I was fairly young and they were in their 80's. I wish I could say I remember more, but all I recall was going to a toy shop and being allowed to pick something out. I got this kit that allowed you to make little pot holders. My Mom tells me how in love they were. I wish I'd been old enough to see, but even then "stuff" was distracting.

Shortly after we visited my great grandma passed away, still wearing her little ring, made of gold, absolutely no stones and definitely no diamonds. Where there might have been diamonds there is a plate of silver engraved to sort of look jewel-esque, but it's fairly unsuccessful. I remember the first time I saw the ring and heard about the engraving... I was too young to really get it, but it didn't seem very romantic. I didn't really understand why Mom was happy to have it. It doesn't look like anything from Kay's... and after all my culture has always said diamonds are forever not little worthless rings with no stone and some other unknown ladies name engraved inside are forever. Aren't diamonds supposed to be a girl's best friend? When my mom describes my great grandparents she says how in love they were. And then she says She was his best friend. This ring is tiny. Definitely not bling. Perhaps the most insignificant looking piece of Jewelry I've ever seen. I was less than enamored by it at a younger age-it belonged to someone named Susan for the love!

After my Great Grandma died my Great Grandpa tied the ring around his neck and trucked on for a few more months... my Mom says he pretty much left with her. When they died they had $7,000 to their names. My Mom inherited the ring. I put it on my finger earlier today. It's got a quality. A quality that money can't and will never be able to buy. It's got faithfulness and gentleness and grace and probably a lot of forgiveness. And when it really comes down to it, I think we'll all be chucking diamonds out the windows of moving cars for the opportunity to experience what the little pawn shop ring represents. And my dear husband, wherever he is can have the pleasure of skipping the jewelry store and convincing my mom to part ways with the yittle silver and gold ring... and maybe someday, when we're very very old... and him being the gentleman and letting me go first, will get to wear it around his neck too.

Have you ever been doing something on your computer and suddenly realized it's harder to see than it ought to be... and your head is starting to hurt and you're squinting your eyes...

And you realize you've had your screen set really super dim. But you hadn't noticed until just now...

adjust.
adjust.
adjust.

Such is life.

Not another month!

I am perpetually having month long gaps in my blogging as of late- and I'd rather not! There's a reason- but I'm going to keep it as my own. For now. And simply say that tonight I'm blogging to avoid the month long gap... if not for readers, simply because when I get apathetic or lost, I often look back at my entries and I remember. I remember that God is moving. That I am loved, and if I don't feel it at the moment, I remember the times when I did. I remember that Im learning and I'm not who I was... and I have a voice, and I'm learning how and when to use it. (And how and when not to, as it were).

I've been reading a book called "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott. It was a recommendation from a friend last spring... at which point I started and did not finish it, mostly due to a library due date. And now I'm giving it another go-by accident. I was in the market for Pride and Prejudice on a friends bookshelf when I came across it and took it instead. The author comes with no pretense. How refreshing! I am a glutton for authenticity. I cringe at the cheesy and predictable... I'm loving her courage to tell the truth. It's sort of freeing. It sort of gives you permission to be honest when others will (and I'd so love to be that for people).

Can I use her ideas tonight? I'm having an awful go at time attempting to conclude my own.

She uses a quote from Dag Hammerskojold "I don't know Who or What put the question, I don't know when it was put. I don't even remember answering. But at some moment , I did answer Yes."

She also quotes a friend saying
"I guess its like discovering you're on the shelf of a pawnshop, dusty and forgotten and maybe not worth very much. But Jesus comes in and tells the pawnbroker, 'I'll take her place on the shelf. Let her go outside again."

She also talks about saying "Hello?" and God saying "Hello."

Oh man, file this away with the haphazard slapdash that I call my blog, because I'm certainly not going to attempt to tie it all together at this point!

As always I hope you're doing well. And your life's an adventure. And I'll tell you something about my husband that I learned today: Because of him I will do things I never would've otherwise done.

Grace and Peace.

Where have I been all month?

I last blogged 1 month ago. whew. That is substantial, and a credit to how busy I've been... with so much going on, I don't really know where to start but... A LIST OF COURSE. Oh how I love a good solid list. So... without further ado, here are "The things I've been up to, and some of the things that I really enjoy at the moment."

1.) I got a job a McMenamins Hotel Oregon as a server, aka bar wench... it's been pretty intense, but I feel like I'm hitting my stride, getting my schedule all figured out. It's good, all in all I'm enjoying it.
2.) I'm doing a psychology research project on campus, I wont bore you with extreme detail (Ill wait till we have results), but it's included running many a participant, entering tons of data by hand, etc etc, you get the picture, it'll be worth it in the end. My friend Nicole and I applied for a grant to present our findings at a national conference in San Francisco, and got funded, so we're pretty excited! That will be in May.
3.) I have art hanging in Backporch Coffee Roasters in Bend as we speak (or not, because I'm typing and you're reading... so no one is even speaking at all) It will be up until Nov. 11th, so if you haven't taken a gander, and you're in the area... do! And let me know what you think!
4.) 2 of my pieces are going into an art benefit to support Jenna Javin's work in Bostwana. That will be going down Nov. 7th at the Kilns in Bend from 7-10. Admission is $5, there will be food, entertainment, and a silent auction. I know several artists who will be having work in it, and it is guaranteed to be fabulous (I'm lucky to be involved) come check it out!
5.) If you didn't know this, I'm graduating in December (the 22nd is the actual date... which reminds me, I need to send out some invitations!) I'm soaking up my time at Linfield, but excited for the things to come. Isn't that amazing in life when you're in love with where you're at yet crazy excited for where you're going? You can't beat that. I'm so blessed.
6.) In case you were scared I still live in a basement room, I don't! I moved on up to the 2nd story of our big 'ol mansion of a house.
7.) I love bran muffins. I eat so many, it's wild. Bran muffins and hummus plates with kalamata olives and feta cheese.
8.) I have a new hobby, restoring old furniture. So far I've done a chair and a coffee table. Both are lovely if I'm allowed to say that?
9.) I think I might get a season pass this year, does anyone have an opinion on that? I need to dust off my skis, it's been too long. I'm going to try to talk my dad into going with me on Wednesdays, he has Wednesday's off. And he is, after all, the very man who took me to the mountain consistently when I was knee high and had to ski between his skis :)
10.) Coldplay live in less than a month! That will be a riot!
11.) Fall Trees. Amazing. Crunchy leaves... crisp air... wow. Fall is my favorite season. Plus I get to bust out boots, tights, and sweaters finally!

CHECK OUT THE SONG Unplayed Piano by Damien Rice if you've never heard it, it's about a woman named Aung San Suu Kyi, if you've never heard her name, you have to hear her story.

I'll leave you with a picture of the chair I redid (why didn't I take a before shot?? It will suffice to say that it was totally dumb before!)


I hope you're living today like it's your one shot at today. Because it is. I love you all.